same same but different

So many things to look forward to. So many things to dread. missing some people in my life(lola,lolo,cousins). Wish i had more time for them. BDG came back from Australia (good to have her back even if for a short duration) and she had lots of stories to share. She saw shirts in vietnam which said "same same but different". Doesn't make sense, right? But if you think about it, it does. Okay, forget for a moment that it sounds funny. Forget for a minute that it sounds like it came from a chinese stationery(e.g. Happy friends, forever love together fruits). You will realize that it applies to everything that happens in your life. Everyday you go to the same job/school, ride the same transpo to work/school, and then go home after a grueling day of tests/tasks/meetings. Sometimes you wake up earlier than usual, sometimes you're late. Other times you were up all night. Sometimes you eat shrimp for lunch. Sometimes it's sisig. You get home at different times as well. Same same but different, right? Is it kicking in now? 

Those shirts spell out the universal truth... that everything is same same but different. The wisdom of our Asian brothers. Those shirts come out in variations. BDG also saw some that said "same same but better". I'm smiling by myself already while I typed that. Sounds funny,right? (or mababaw lang ako ehe) That shirt on the other hand, talks about growth. And I see that with most of the people that I'm close to. Oo na tumatanda na ako. I have the privilege to see the kids younger than me grow up to mature and responsible grownups that they're developing to right now. But when you talk to them, nothing really has changed because they're still the same wacky people when they're with you. Same same but better. Galing di ba? So many things to look forward to. so many things to dread. Same same but different XD.

That's not the end of that. Guess what Yum in Vietnamese means. 

Election day

I spent my birthday as a PPCRV Volunteer. This is my first time. And the experience was fulfilling (even if I knew that somewhere along the way - cheating would still occur). I made new friends (with the other poll watchers) and got to help people looking for their precincts. The heat did not feel as blistering as I knew that my mission for the day was something that I'd be proud of. I was the poll watcher for precinct 96a-98a. And I did my best to make sure that nothing funny was going around. 

Went home around 4pm to prepare for the bday dinner that I had planned for my friends. We were making tacos (my siblings and I) and it was not an easy task. we had to slice cabbages,tomatoes and onions. On top of that, we had to grate cheese. Good thing Jose was there to do it. I even had to carve chicken (didn't realize that could become exhausting until the third chicken) BUT all's well that ends well. Tita Elsa brought cake and icecream and so did Padz so we didn't have to worry for dessert.

Never had I been so tired on my birthday. But I guess that's when I'm most fulfilled... when I've proven to myself that I can withstand anything that life may throw at me (God forbid - don't really want any big tests in the near future :) ). like i keep repeating to myself, it all boils down to a matter of perspective. you will always be able to see the beauty in things if you have a positive outlook from the onset.

Release

I've been meaning to write for the longest time now. I've so much to say that I don't know where to start and I'm afraid that i won't know how to end. I'm at the point in my life wherein i feel numb to any kind of pain or hurt. Or do i just cover it up in an attempt to deny what i'm really feeling? I've become a person who does not care what other people think about me (I'm wondering if this would hurt in the long run). The only problem that I see with that is that there is the tendency to hurt back without meaning to. Sometimes i find myself in situations that i never wanted to get to in the first place, but somehow because of my nature, I'd find myself in that same pit, trying to claw my way out and at the same time ask why i'd been there in the first place. I want to go back to the place where I try to find meaning in my life and stop my cynicism. I want to find innocence again. I want to keep believing that there is still hope for everyone and everything. I've been jaded i know. but at the same time, I've felt so much goodness in my life that i cannot just tell one side of the story. I feel like a soldier that's killed thousands in the middle of the battlefield, contemplating what he'd really accomplished in the process. He's made some mistakes as well, and is thinking if those consequences would come back to haunt him. I want to find my place in the world. Which would require me to put faith in the world (which i have little of as of the moment). time is against all of us. as much as we want to accomplish saving the world --- we are but bound by the things that keep us busy all day, like surviving. As much as we want to go out there and do it all, we have to deal with the system of how it all works. Is it right that we just succumb to the same fate that our ancestors have gone through? Isn't it time that we stood up and changed how it all works? Little by little, I will chip that block. Somehow,someday... I hope to find that place in the world.