Parts Unknown

 Just finished watching Roadrunner on Netflix, which is about Anthony Bourdain and this got me into thinking, why can't I start writing again? I stopped writing because internalizing can cause one to become too sensitive. Being introspective is both a blessing and a curse at the same time. Just like Tony, we keep running trying to find ourselves, but in the end, once we do get to the deepest darkest recesses of our thoughts, are we truly ever satisfied?

 

Do we ever really get to know ourselves? The algorithms may know us better. Youtube and Netflix is on spot on some of the videos it suggests. Lazada knows me very well and that is why I spend a lot of time with her everyday. But it's more of the same everyday. Looking inward has its price to pay. We may or may not be happy with what we will find. I guess that is why Tony kept running and looking for the next thing. Maybe what he needed was there all along and he kept looking inward and outward with no compass to guide him as to what he was really looking for. Some of us may be as manic as him, diving and immersing ourselves in passions and hobbies that can sometimes also burn us out. And once that is done, we move to the next without ever really finding out what we want out of this life.

Not really sure where I'm going with this but I'm really glad that Tony got me back to writing. I will try to make this a more regular thing. I've rediscovered that I love to write and just put my thoughts down.

It's been a while. been busy I know. Been trying to get from point A to point B everyday, wondering if I'll ever get what I really want from this life. Have I been running aimlessly, chasing a dream that I will never come to full terms with? Or do I just think too much, and actually have everything that I should ever want? The pain of knowing what I want. And having what I need. And yet I am never truly satisfied.

Free throws

Soldier on
I play basketball to blow off steam. Football would be nice but hard when you're just by yourself. In the past few games that I joined in, I realized that I really had to develop my midrange game and that's what was on the agenda today. I can't keep running and relying on the fastbreak forever. When I came up to the 6th floor basketball court, there were puddles all around and I noticed that there was a tear on my shoe. Should I still continue to play? Can I still play despite these setbacks? I decided to soldier on and remembered the days when I was a kid and was a complete basketball addict. Playing in the rain because the Chicago Bulls were in the playoffs or had just won the championships. I needed to mimic their moves and relieve the experience. :)) Such idealism.

You can always improve --- set a baseline for yourself
So I played and practiced by myself. At some point I decided to work on my free throws. On my first three shots, I was one of three. That's thirty three percent! But I decided to continue and finished 5/10 which is a not bad 50%. If I had given up on after one of three, I would not have made the 50%. On the next round I shot seven of ten.

Not everyone has the opportunity to play
I kept practicing and tweaking the weak parts of my game. All of this does not necessarily translate back to tournament level of play but I really want to improve that's why I continue. As I took a break, I could see other parts of the neighborhood from the vantage point where I was. I saw a basketball court that was inundated with green water due to the constant rain the past few days. I was humbled. Here I was worried about the tear on my shoe and the puddles that I could avoid. There's a basketball court, yes but they won't be able to play. This was a good reminder for me. To play despite the seemingly irksome circumstances because others don't have that chance. Today I've learned to value my chances more. And improve midrange as well.